Touch of blue leaves blueprints on you

I have had four people ask if these are my real nails. Fifth was going to get a really good look at them JAMMED IN ITS EYES. I guess it's a compliment, but do I look like the kind of girl who will contemplate anything faux other than animal product?

"It's a man bag!"
"It's a man purse!"
"It's a murse!"

I may have found my people.

oh. I made a mini-Sonic run because I hate myself and want to die and ordered diet Coke and onion rings. The lady brought me my drink, noticed my nails, and went off on how she used to work at a Sally Beauty Supply and hates glitter polish because it just WON'T COME OFF. Then she went away for five minutes and came back with my onion rings...and another Coke. She was so distracted by the glitter that I got a free refill.

I have found the mix tape Billsplut made me ten years ago (oh my god I am old)(tucked inside case: "Bowl a Free Game On Us Courtesy of Latin World, Columbia MO, expires 12/31/2000") and need to dig through Mr. Pookie-Head's Bucket o' Parts to find whatever audio cord I used to do mp3 from my tape deck with before it or the tape deck explodes.

"...That sounds like Day Tripper."
"That IS Day Tripper."

pushing the sky

I really could not give less of a rat's ass about football, but I painted my nails black and gold anyway. Because I moved to the land of crazy people, and if I have one more idiot gibber Oooooh, you went to Missouri, ha ha, SHUN! SHUUUUUUUN! then I'm going to go all Hooker Heels Impale on some unsuspecting dipshit. I don't think I'm going to be home tomorrow night or would have to sit there and light all the Jesus candles and point my Moon Kaleidoscope at the screen and shriek every time it looks like the little men are running the wrong way. It worked when they played Kansas last year (the only game I have ever watched in my life).

There was a large, spotted snake in the copy room a few days ago. I saw its little head poking out from under the door and circled the office a few times until I found someone to get rid of it. I could have picked it up and taken it outside myself if it were a little stripy snake, but I don't know what spots mean. Apparently they've gotten up to ten a week in the fall before. And mice. I am not sure why the snakes don't just eat the mice. I think I need to bring in Pushkin, heavy leather gloves, and tongs.

bow-tie and applejack

I had a wonderfully self-aware moment yesterday in which I realized that I can make friends with female coworkers but not with random girls in a social setting. This is because I am involuntarily forced to be in coworkers' presence for hours at a time and am then used to them, whereas strange girls just put my hackles up and I hiss and spit and am quite fierce for the duration. Oh la.

I am tentatively considering an MBA again. This would serve NO practical purpose towards furthering my career, but would make the little voice in my head that sings "loser loser didn't go to grad school" shut up. Do I really want to throw $10k at it to make it go away? MAYBE. Mostly I'm worried about the GMAT after this long. I guess UNO is probably not all that selective, so I could maybe get by with mediocre.

I discovered PaperbackSwap.com. OH NOES.

My mom e-mailed me that she finally filed papers for the divorce and that Dad told her she had to be the one to tell us. WHATEVER.

Did I mention my beautiful purple stamp that says "I AM A UNICORN"? The boy ordered it for my October tribute because I write that on my legs when I'm feeling particularly insecure at work.

I AM A UNICORN