IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE

I have purchased Neutrogena MicroMist faux tanning object, with intent. I think I will practice on legs to make sure it doesn't turn me into a pumpkin before I try my face. I am heartbroken that the Agent Orange I used to use has been discontinued, since my application met with Bertha Parker's approval and therefore must have been without fault.

Today has been an anti-day, because I was supposed to work, but she called and canceled at 8:20 this morning. So I was all worked up and had no chance to express it safely and harmlessly. Boy has several new scars.

THERE IS A BLACK SQUIRREL THAT VISITS MY YARD; this is the ideal and certain sign of good fortune for my future, present, and past endeavors. I intend to supply it with ample corn and peanuts and blood sacrifices. Mother told me that cardinals eat black sunflower seeds, so I must also put those out, as cardinals carry the spirit of my dead grandfather. I know they are near, for I have heard them.

The trees in back have been tentatively identified as some variety of ash. I will have to think about this.

I was given a pass to Warren Buffett's annual big shareholder party, but large mobs of people inspire terror and I might drop my tail, so I am keeping it as a souvenir instead. I could theoretically have saved $$$ on jewelry, but I doubt it would have been to my taste. tiger eye tiger eye tiger eye

I have discovered TAB at Kroger. OH NOES WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN