twenty three magic

I think what bothers me the most is that there's really nowhere I can go when I'm upset, no one in the world I can call and subject to my award-winning run-on thoughts without feeling like a super-intrusive burden. I'm just going to have to invent an imaginary friend, or write an AI, and doesn't that make me crazy?

Finally saw an endocrinologist today to arrange the follow-up bone scan I should have had two and a half years ago. Was treated to the OMG YOU ARE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS act AGAIN (but this time in a beautiful Polish accent) so will have to pee in jugs for 24 hours AGAIN and gave them ten vials of blood AGAIN. Then I had to tell her exactly how much weight I have gained in two years, and she freaked out and wants to have me tested for a hundred improbable disorders and I can never get through to them that YES, I CAN IN FACT JUST HAVE EATEN THAT MUCH, I AM VERY DETERMINED SOMETIMES. Then I had to go to other-job so they could take the rest of my blood, and I had a splitting headache BEFORE that. I saw Richie who usually makes me calm and peaceful, but it did not work and I just wanted to go to Target and buy twenty dollars' worth of dishes and go outside and break them. And then I saw the other one, who makes me very stupid and also want to stab myself in the face, and suddenly I understood why girls cut themselves.

I drove west on the interstate for a while because I didn't want to go home. The angel-cat-owl-Kowl Cymbeline rode on the floor, and I dipped fingers of glitter out of the candle-well and let it blow back out the window.