why they should confiscate my phone at the door

This really ought not be recorded for posterity, but....

(B) Just puked at work. Romaine lettuce CAN come out your nose - don't let no one tell you different.

(K) I don't know what I'd do without you to tell me these things.

(K) Like how I'd get butt worms if I don't drink tequila with sushi. SAVED MY LIFE.

(B)Pretty much just drink tequila with everything to be safe. Then you'll be puking a lot, so also never eat lettuce.

(B) TEQUILA = YES. LETTUCE = NO. UNICORNS = SWISS DISCOTHEQUE.

(K) I am going to embroider that into a sampler.

(B) I'm using "If Almanzo liked it, he should have built a shanty on it".

(K) Maybe we can convince that chick to join our intrepid band of UNICORN HUNTAAS.

(B) That just made me slightly hysterical. Methinks I need some quinine. Don't forget the Stone of Speaking for our journey.

(B) Also, we probably need a virgin to catch unicorns, but I'm NOT bringing Rob.

(K) I think mine grew back. We can take Spook as a backup.

(B) Queen Elizabeth I revirginized herself and so can you. Who's more of a girl in case you die? Spook or Rob?

(K) They're both Muppets. What about hermaphroditic virgins?

(B) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I love you.

(K) Now I wonder if unicorns appear to rape victims. Do they have any discretion at all? Blind justice vs. pure justice. Let's ask Pelu.

(B) What about the lesbionics? Some guys don't think that's "really" sex. Are male unicorns ignorant douchebags?

(B) This is why it's so important for us to conduct this work.

(K) There must be grants we can apply for.