Things I learned at my last job:
1. Keep your shoes on.
2. Do not call anyone "darling."
3. Do not allow dirty old men to call you "Princess," even if you ARE A PRINCESS.
4. Do not sign notes with hearts.
5. Do not cry in the bathroom, because THEY WILL FIND YOU.
6. Do not bring glitter to the office.
7. Sit at the desk at least 51% more than you sit on the floor.
8. Do not keep weapons up your sleeve or in your desk drawer, even if it really is just that bad.
What I have learned at my new job:
DO NOT PROVOKE THE WILD TURKEYS.
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