Day 01 – Introduce yourself

I'm Tsukino Usagi, sixteen years old and in the first year of high school. I'm a bit rash and a bit of a crybaby. But actually, I'm the fighter for love and justice, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon.

</obligatory>

Meme ganked from Miss Smashleigh to celebrate Glorious October, and we hope I don't blow it as badly as last year.

I fail at introductions because I prefer anonymity and rarely consider myself relevant.

K*ko went to college to be a rock star but accidentally ended up as a CPA working for a political subdivision of the state of Nebraska, which fact blows her mind daily. An accountant! In Nebraska! WTFnkthx. Unfortunately she is, though not rich by any means, definitely comfortable, and so loath to toss it to be an interpretive dancer just yet. She works in a 940-square acre park containing a 250-acre lake; this provides nearly endless opportunities to hide, which is important. Her co-workers basically think she is Chibiusa and leave her offerings (Hello Kitty Pocky, My Little Pony fruit snacks, a pink Lenovo netbook, glitter nail polish) to bolster her good humor and sweet temper.

People think I pay a fortune to have three feet of hair highlighted, but it just does that. I consider them my tiger stripes. Today the education assistant told me my hair was really long (side note: I despise ladies’ room conversation). I think this is like when people refer to an art object they don’t care for as “interesting.”

I have two cats, and they are spoiled, but I am not a cat lady...despite popular opinion. I thought it required at least four cats before cat-lady status was attained, but apparently I was mistaken. I also live with a boy, which I also thought was a contraindication. So I’m dreadfully confused about the whole thing. Perhaps it is because I have expressed my intent to forgo replication?

I am still driving the fifteen-year-old Saturn inherited from my mother in 1998 when I left for school. I fully intend to drive it until it explodes. Then I am going to buy a Mustang. Then they will invent electric solar hovercraft within four years.

My favorite song this week is the Para Para remix by Ishida Yoko of Do You Remember Love from Macross. That tells you everything you need to know about me right there.

Dosvedanya, mio bambino

I am a high-functioning magical thinker. Mlle Bisquitte and I both read Shirley Jackson's We Have Always Lived in the Castle in our early teens, both thought Merricat was a lot like me, and neither one of us realized she was supposed to be crazy until the end of the book. When we met her mother last month for brunch in our big floppy Unicorn Huntaa hats, bedecked with ribbons and bells and charms (wings to fly us home, keys to open the door when we get there, hearts to replace what we've broken, stars because all we can do is shine), she told us that I don't change much over the years. I think she's prly right. Ten years of this drivel should tell, but too much of it gets filtered out. A week ago yesterday was the fifteenth anniversary of the day They didn't come for us. I have lived almost my whole life again since then.

The whole swarm of them was here last night after they went out and ate $500 of sushi for someone's birthday, and I was supremely inhospitable, because I resent very much any nonresident in the house after 7:00 PM on a work night. So do the kittenen. Eventually they left, and, as I am merciful, they went out with as many parts as they brought in.

I stayed home today for thin reason of digestive complaint (slight overindulgence in cake batter suspected), because approximately once per fiscal quarter I like to pretend I'm independently wealthy and can read all morning if I want to, or go to Target at 11:30 and buy honey sticks on clearance, or make kale chips and eat them because I feel like it. AIM FOR THE SKY, I always say.

Spook comes home for a week July 3, so I will waste one or two nights of my three-day weekend at home. Mom said she's planning to come back for good in March when her lease is up, whether she's secured gainful employment or not. I wish she'd come here instead of KC like she probably will. Not that I would ever see her, but we would each know the other was there, and maybe it would help.

We saw Pink Martini play with the Omaha Symphony, because we are nerds, and then I bought two LPs and had them signed, because that opportunity presents itself so rarely. DO WANT SO HARD that I bite my lip and pout.

Do not want to work tomorrow. Unfortunately, I have no other options until someone dies and leaves me $10 million, in which case I need to start cultivating select elderly men, or I win Powerball, in which case I need start buying tickets. I am a horrible, horrible lazy girl, but I am tired, and I will never be excited about being an accountant.

My yard looks really nice, though. I consider things I could bury in and around the brick flower beds around the trees that will defend me from all evil yet not interfere with the flora. Something made of pewter that doesn't have any holes. I do not believe this will help, yet I don't believe that it won't help.

NERD ALERT

(22:59:00) kitsplut: now I have sprayed my abdomen with chemicals that should make it less pasty. this is a trial before it goes on any skin that shows.
(22:59:11) kitsplut: being a girl can be a pain in the butt.
(22:59:33) Cronrus: yay chemicals, but boo for fake tans
(22:59:40) Cronrus: I happen to like pasty
(23:00:09) kitsplut: not super tan. just a leeeetle tan.
(23:00:58) kitsplut: #FFFFCC rather than #FFFFFF.
(23:01:36) Cronrus: that might be okay then

chase you down until you love me

So, spring. I have pared down the Talons of Doom and am pondering which pastel pink to polish in honor of Easter season. Next weekend will be (Back to the) Egg Time. Hoping to get more than four of twelve blown out successfully this year. Then they will be filled with glitter and thrown at people's houses out my car window. Maybe. I would feel SO MUCH BETTER though.

I walked the 7.4 mile full loop around Zorinsky Lake twice last week. If I weren't nuts, I would stay at Chalco after work and walk that one since I'm there, but the extra 1.4 miles makes all the difference...sure. It's nice to plug into Chiquita and not have to think about anything for an hour and three-quarters or so. I gave up on the running thing until I've shed some more boom, because I can just see Klutzy McBoneless in a cast this time, and no kthx. Finally sucked it up and made the Annual Female Trauma appointment with the doctor I've used since I moved up here, and I am going to ream her out this time if she pisses me off, and then that will be it. I need to remember that I can do this, that no one can be nastier than me if I really put my mind to it. ASK PUNKIN; we used to live together.

I have a full day review for the first part of the CGFM exam in Bellevue on Thursday. I know it's at the (fake) university there but not what building or what room or anything. If I haven't received sufficient e-mail detail by Tuesday, I'm going to start working my way down the phone tree like Donkey Kong Jr. Hoping that there will be no lunch provided, because then I'll have to disappear like a ninja and that will be difficult if I'm still stumbling around with a gutful of snot by then. BOYLIED ABOUT HAVING ALLERGIES; Mom claims this is grounds for justifiable homicide, and I'd consider that but there's a lot of spring yard work I need him to do before I tiptoe in and smother him in his sleep.

Or I could just hire a lawn service.

P and JL were talking about fishing on Friday. I think it would be really neat if you could fish for birds, only I don't think "birding" would be a good name for it, but there could be little helium sacs on the lines instead of the bobbing things that float on the water so they'd stay up in the sky, and you could have kind of a snare trap instead of a hook, and actually what you'd need to do is have a golden ring maybe a foot in diameter with about a thousand lines on it and wear a little glider, and once you'd caught enough birds you could rise up into the sky behind them. Probably it would be better to have someone follow you in a truck like for hot air balloons. So I expounded on this at length, and they were all YES, THIS. Then I went home early because Servicemaster was coming to steam-clean the bathrooms at two, and I took that as a Sign.

The LAST new batch of snow has almost all melted off. Any time now, Mr. Sun. But please don't put on an angry face and attack us like in Mario 3. I'm not ready yet.

for the me you're always dreaming of

SO, it was board week, and it was vile (although I managed to suppress the Twitter stream of vicious bile this time), and I ditched work at one today. Then I stopped by my old job to drop off a contraband computer while the Greater and Lesser Demons were out of state, and spent half an hour or so catching up with someone I had not seen in quite a while. And it was fine until I heard the other voice. THEN, boom, hate myself and want to die.

BUT

I am permitted to attend a governmental accounting conference in COLUMBIA, in May, with my mommy, so I can pretend that it's 1998 and she's taking me down to register and everything is going to be peachy keen okay; I think after everything I can allow myself two days of total mindfuck if I deem it necessary. I think I didn't cry today because I'm saving it for wandering around campus, and then I'm seriously going to let loose, and it will be therapeutic. Then the next week is the other conference in KC when I get to see Mlle la Bisquitte, so that month will contain more travel than the twenty-two before it put together. I totally lied when I promised I'd come back.

I need to get clothes for all this since I have nothing seasonally appropriate that I have a remote chance of fitting into by May. Someone noticed yesterday that I have lost weight...like about an eighth of what I need to lose before I stop hating on myself. I'm going to burn the two suits I bought for interviewing before I got this job, because they reek of despair and obesity, and I can't even stand to look at them.

In a couple of weeks I will have to sit through a baby shower lunch for a girl at work. I already warned J that I am not going to engage well, because I have a real phobia of pregnant women and babies in general. I KNOW I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON, but even the idea of a little alien baby growing inside me like a tumor makes me want to vomit. I have never, at any time in my life, even when little and playing with dolls, thought even wistfully in passing, gee, I might like to have a kid someday. I'm all for breeding as long as I'm not expected to participate. S thinks it's this huge joke and will tell anyone who will listen about the time I went to pick her up at her other job in a bead store and encountered a toddler. It was running around the store and plopped down right in my path, and I stepped around it probably more widely than necessary because I was afraid it was going to start running again and trip me up like the cats. She ALWAYS tells people that I looked at it like it was "a pile of dog crap" and laughs hysterically. I did not either. I looked at it like it was a pile of plastic explosives. SUBTLE DIFFERENCE.

It snowed again yesterday, heavily, in large, wet flakes that would have been beautiful if I were not absolutely DONE WITH SNOW UNTIL 2018...had to run out back and put plastic tubs over the bulbs that had already started to sprout. In theory, there will be iris, crocus, daffodil, hyacinth, and something I forget behind the house. Target had a display of seed packets for climbing plants, so we bought some sweetpea (sigh), morning glory (TEE HEE), and moon flowers (...) to plant along the fence. I wish in my heart of hearts that I were a gardening person. I love the idea of gardening. Unfortunately, I am never going to be someone who wants to get down in the dirt except for novelty purposes once a year or so.

I wore sandals even though it was snowing. Because those are the shoes that go with the outfit I had selected to wear for the board meeting. And if I let the snow dictate my life, THEN THE TERRORISTS WIN. And it's spring somewhere anyway.

angelsnakedance

I am trying to decide if I will go to my first spinning class in two years tomorrow morning or if I will stay home and play with my elliptical. I want to go to spinning, because a) I need to practice for when I am no longer living in Hoth and can ride my real bicycle and b) it is nonimpact and my right hip is just so angry at me about the last two days I cannot even tell you. BUT THERE WILL BE PEOPLE THERE, AND THEY WILL LOOK AT ME WITH THEIR SHINY LITTLE EYES AND PROCESS INFORMATION ABOUT ME INTO THEIR LITTLE HIVE BRAINS, AND I WILL CRY.

I was pleasantly surprised that Aleve actually works. I never expect painkillers to work, so I hardly ever bother to take any, and that is probably why they do work. I have to ignore the pain and think positive, reinforcing thoughts for the next six weeks or so until it stops being a whiny bitch. I know it's just because I have babied that leg since I broke it AGAIN a couple years ago, and I need to be stretching better on that side, but the small animal instinctive part of my brain is convinced that all my bones are blown glass forever and so I need to sit very still at all times but for lashing my tail about furiously.

The postman delivered to my house a packet of Sailormoon cards that flew all the way from Buckinghamshire to be slipped lovingly into little plastic sheets and then stored under my bed. I had to check Wiki so I could visualize where in England that even is. Hooray for American public school education, sigh. I guess even knowing that's in England puts me in the 90th percentile.

I would definitely have preferred a real waterfall with unicorns to The Waterfall Lounge. I sucked down diet Coke and listened to S and her boyfriend and P chatter and surprisingly managed to stay mostly engaged. They ate fried things and some bird lumps and are forever in my good graces for asking me only one time if I wanted anything. They are pretty used to me after a year and a half. S's boy expressed some incredulity at that I just don't drink but dropped it within an acceptable space. I need to make up some fantastic back story that will make people sorry they asked. I usually just point out gently that I have quite enough problems without, and aren't I scary enough stone cold sober?

Getting up at 4:45 makes me reallyreallyreally tired now. After lo! these many years, sleeping is still the most fun game. HANDS DOWN.

My uncle is on Facebook and has posted his birth year as 1974 instead of 1962. I am bemused. I have added his two older children but am not very close with any of my cousins since they all grew up in Texas or Las Vegas and...yeah. So it goes.

track it down, take a picture, and tape it to your eyes

The only reason no one was mercilessly eviscerated today was that I knew the complete set of Wedding Peach manga was waiting on my doorstep. I am somewhat disappointed that the English translation uses "Sacred Four Somethings" instead of "Saint Something Four," because that made me love the whole universe every time they said it in the anime.

It's almost time for the Amazing Six-Month-Long Budget Process from Hell, which will overlap with Amazing Six-Month-Long Audit, which isn't so bad, and I have exactly one day less than four months to completely redo the entire accounting system in software none of us have used before! I think I flipped tails.*

Notes of Dubious Interest:

My new shoes are here. In eight weeks, I will either be able to run for half an hour at a time or will have another broken hip. *HEADS IT'S A PARTY, TAILS YOU DIE.

Baby had a bath today, and now you can tell it is blueblack again. Saturns are mostly plastic, thus rustless, but I wish I knew how the underneath bits are holding up. I let them do the 10000000000 mile inspection last time her oil was changed, but I don't know if they would think to mention that.

The Zombies were hugely underrated. Also, I really, really wish the Turtles would come back for another concert, because I don't know that I've had as much fun at any time since then. And that was pre-kitten.

Sonya: So would you go with us to the waterfall tomorrow? Just because?
K-hime: Sure. Where is it?
Sonya: It's the one down 168th past Cornhusker.
K-hime: ...Oh. A bar, not, like, a real waterfall.
Sonya: HA HA HA, yes, a real waterfall, and there will be unicorns!
K-hime: stfu.